🎀Here’s the thing🎀
You can’t go forward if you don’t believe in yourself.
You can’t step up if you mindset is set back.
You can’t move to new destinations by focusing on what is behind you.
🎀But what does it take to get over the bumps on the road?
🎀The #1 international bestseller, Mark Manson, wrote about just that in his recent book “The subtle art of not giving a f*CK: a counterintuitive approach to living a good life”.
🎀When I first picked up his book, I was browsing the book shop at the Montreal Airport, about to take a flight to Vancouver, on my yearly west coast trip.
I had picked this book amongst many others and couldn’t decide which one to pick.
Little did I know, that THIS particular book would be an awakening read. (Much like Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life, but I digress.)
🎀So I dragged it around Vancouver, not sure whether or not to start reading it.
Finally, on “second beach” I sat down in the sand, and started reading.
🎀I could not get my eyes off it.
The writing style was a lot more informal than I was used to (considering that my usual reads were Court judgements after Court judgements, and doctrinal law books), and the message was distinct. It felt like a voice in the back of my head that I was always shutting off, that finally pushed through to my consciousness.
Suffice to say, I was mesmerized. Taken out of my element. Almost shocked, but in a good way – if shock can be a positive occurence.
He really got to me.
🎀Picture a 26 year old law student who’s main philosophy of life is “I don’t know”, mixed with a relativistic approach to all subjects. Yes. That was me.
I kid you not.
This book was my first wake up call (Yes it has taken many).The first step towards believing in myself, speaking up for myself, opening up to the world as the person that I am.
🎀And not giving a f*ck.🎀
🎀I will admit, I still struggle with authenticity.
I am here, however, trying to write everyday about that authentic self.
When you’ve been so disconnected to yourself for so long, it’s hard to find the seed that connects it all together.
The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. This is a total mind fuck.
🎀He also quotes Albert Camus at one point and writes this:
‘You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.’ Or put more simply: Don’t try.
(The last two words are a quote by Bukowski) (P.10)
Isn’t that an interesting way to live. It isn’t about acting with no emotions or no meaning 👉 There are three subtleties of what not giving a f*ck means.
- “Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.(It’s impossible NOT to give a f*ck – but you CAN pick what to give a fuck about, i.e. “not caring about pissing some people off to do what one feels is right or important or noble”).
- To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity. (I.e. “the problem with people who hand out f*cks like ice cream at a goddamn summer camp is that they don’t have anything more f*ck-worthy to dedicate their f*cks to”).
- Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f*CK about.
🎀When I read his book I seriously feel like angels were singing down to me from *heaven*, shining lights and everything on his writing.
A bit dramatic, sure.
🎀But I insist!🎀
Do read his stuff if you feel you’re getting hurt by everybody and everything. You’re probably just giving too much of yourself and not picking what matters.
🎀Miss Bow 🎀